#3 THE NEED FOR ENFORCEABLE FUNERAL AND BURIAL INSTRUCTIONS - Posted

These Preventive Law Alerts are patterned after an annual publication to all mountain climbers called "Accidents in North American Mountaineering" which writes up all mountaineering accidents describing the accident, what caused it, how it may have been prevented so that further mountain climbing catastrophes may be avoided. The Preventive Law Alerts are the equivalent of "Legal Accidents in North American Law" -- a description of the legal catastrophe and how it may be avoided using preventive law techniques.

The Legal Catastrophes

Following are some real life catastrophes that I want to relate:

• My Father, a retired Colonel in the Air Force, the CEO of a large corporation, and a gangleader in his younger days in early Phoenix, came to me one day -- three months before his death and said, "Son, I want you to promise me something when I die. I want anyone who is dumb enough to come to my funeral to be invited to a late night party at the Arizona Club, and I want you to deduct the expenses from my estate taxes as funeral expenses -- a traditional wake.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, over 500 mourners came to his funeral. I invited all of them to a fantastic party that celebrated his outstanding life.

The next morning, after I awoke from a slight hangover, my Mother hustled into my bedroom -- angry! "John, what did you do -- your Fahter would never have spent that kind of money on his funeral." She held this against me as long as she lived. My Father had not confirmed his intentions in an enforceable Funeral and Burial Instructions Statement.

• Chuck and his wife argued their entire married lives over religion. Chuck was Protestant, his wife was Catholic. This piont was so contentious that they lived in separate houses until Chuck died. I was surprised when his wife had a high Mass funeral for Chuck at her Catholic Church. Chuck must have tossed and turned in his coffin because he did not have an enforceable Funeral and Burial Instructions Statement.
• One of my clients told a sad story about his Father. His Father married a second time when his first wife died and moved to Las Vegas after he remarried. At his age the Father had very little wealth and was conserving it as much as he could. He told my client that he wanted a simple and inexpensive burial in Las Vegas so as to opreserve as muchmoney as possible for his new wife who was also elderly.

When the Father died, my clients older brother became the executor of the estate and insisted that the Father's body be shipped to Ohio for a grand funeral and interment. My client protested -- but was overruled. Over $30,000 was spent. My client was so upset when his Father's widow had her security short changed that he would not talk to his brothers again -- no enforceable Funeral and Burial Instructions existed.

•  The oldest son of a family died unexpectedly without enforceable Funeral and Burial Instructions. The widow wantd her husband cremated. His parents, brothers, and sisters wanted a traditional funeral and burial. The body stayed in the cold storage of the mortuary for 14 days as the family battled over how to handle the funeral ceremonies, and how and where he would be interred.

The Preventive Law Solution

Unfortunately, Funeral and Burial Instructions in a Will are not controlling. The laws in almost every state leave the decisions on funerals and burials to the next of kin, -- the spouse, children and parents -- leaving the chance for arguments. If there is no spouse, children, or parents, the responsibility goes to brothers and sisters. If there are no brothers or sisters, the closest family members or friends who volunteer to assert themselves make the decisions. In these situations there is a high probability for arguments and bitterness if the decedent does not have a Funeral and Burial Instruction instrument signed by the next of kin, in advance.

Also, to validate cremation or not, the instructions must be notarized under oath as an affidavit.

For our clients we created a detailed form which complies with these basic requirements, which I and the owner of the largest local funeral home put together. When completed by the client this form covers almost all the potential issues and questions that may arise when someone dies. Individual or personal issues and comments which are not covered by the form may be attached and incorporated into the legally binding instructions.

Before my Mother died I asked my younger brother to meet with her and help her fill in the form. The process was simple and harmonious. After my mother died, I gave the form to the mortician and in less than 30 minutes all the arrangements were confirmed. The only problem was that my older sister came late to the grave service. She did not sign the Funeral and Burial Instructions. Therefore, we had to wait 30 minutes to permit the burial. The mortician refused to proceed without her signature on the instructions.

Benefits of Funeral and Burial Instructions

 The Funeral and Burial Instructions assist individuals to focus and decide on all aspects of the after death process:

• Who will be in charge
• What mortuary
• Cremation or not
• The grave site where the decedent's ashes will be interred
• The pall bearers
• The religious institution where the ceremony will take place
• Who will officiate and speak
• The type of coffin or urn
• The music
• What kind of wake and/or gathering before or after the services
• Interment clothing and flowers
• Whether or not there will be a public or family viewing
• Who to notify of the funeral
• Other instructions and an opportunity to include additional or personal instructions even more detailed and specific wishes for the surviving family and friends

By using this legal instrument for these Funeral and Burial Instructions we could have prevented the above catastrophes -- avoiding family arguments, avoiding psychological damage where the family member thinks they "did the wrong thing," and before he dies, leaving the decedent with the feeling that their body will not be honored in the way they want it to happen.

We want every person in the United States and elsewhere to obtain and fill out this legal form.

To purchase a form send an email to the College of Preventive Law: info@prevlaw.com, or call 602 252-5110; 800 442-8057.

The cost of the form is $50. We will send you a PDF of the form which entitles you to copy and use the form for everyone in your family.